The Fearless Road
Entrepreneurial insights, stories, and advice on embracing fear, breaking boundaries, and achieving goals on the road to success.
Join Michael on a captivating odyssey down 'The Fearless Road' and brace yourself for a life-altering transformation. This groundbreaking podcast is not merely a conduit to success; it is a profound exploration of courage, authenticity, and the pursuit of passions. With each episode, Michael and his dedicated team embark on a quest to uncover the secrets to triumph and support the unwavering determination required to chase dreams fearlessly.
The Fearless Road is committed to exploring the road to success and empowering our audience to navigate this journey with confidence, resilience, and fearlessness. Pursuing your passions and being yourself requires tremendous inner strength and vulnerability. It’s important to consistently recognize and appreciate the confidence it takes to follow your heart and your dreams. Stay Fearless!
The Fearless Road
05. Welcome to FEAR-LESQUE: Cat Lacohie's Fearless Exploration of Self-Expression
Have you ever considered how the power of burlesque can transform lives? Join us as we chat with the dynamic Cat LaCohie, internationally acclaimed burlesque performer and educator, also known as the Vixen DeVille. Born in Newcastle, she conquered London and Los Angeles with her mesmerizing performances. Yet, burlesque has been more than just an art form for Cat, it’s become a vehicle for self-expression, self-confidence, and a means of helping others recognize their worth.
With Cat’s guidance, we venture into the fascinating world of burlesque, not simply as a performance art, but as a tool for personal empowerment. Equipped with her personal experiences and valuable insights, Cat shares the transformative power of burlesque classes - fostering self-confidence, building identity, and overcoming social phobias. We also delve into her ground-breaking work in the corporate sphere, where the transformative properties of burlesque are making waves.
We move further into exploring authenticity, challenging the societal pressures to conform and be perfect. Cat gives us a candid picture of her relationship with fear and how it has shaped her life. Our conversation traverses through the powerful concept of authenticity, the societal shift towards social awareness, and the importance of embracing femininity in today's world. Come, step into Cat's world and embark on a journey of self-discovery and fearless living. Be prepared to challenge the status quo, shed your inhibitions, and embrace your authentic self!
So, hey, everybody from the Fearless Road, listeners and my road warriors out there, welcome back. Because today you can see the excitement on my face if you were watching me, but if you're listening to me, this is the excitement in my voice. It's really excited. I'm excited because today's show you know, you guys probably well. You might remember, you might recall, I've talked a little bit about my performing career. So I do have a performing career, was a showboy in Vegas for many years and I love, I love, love, love, show business, love the shows, love the dancing, love the whole thing, the whole kit and caboodle, or as I'm going to call it today, the cat and caboodle, because who's on with me today? But the amazing cat Loco, he otherwise known as the Vixen de Vil, and this is a special, this is a special episode, you know, when we're in the business of entrepreneurship and talking about fear and talking about how we navigate the Fearless Road, how we utilize fear as a fuel or tool and ways to incorporate that into our lives. I'm not sure that there's anything that really sort of gets to the heart of this better than my guest today with cat, who takes us on a very, very good and cool journey on her Fearless Road. So I'm just going to you know what, I'm going to spit it out, I'm going to do the intro and I'm going to read a little bit here, so bear with me. Ladies and gentlemen.
Michael Devous:Starting her career in London, england, with the appearances at Café de Paris, the Brits Hotel and three West End runs at the Charin Cross Theater or Theatres Theater London, has since relocated her act to Los Angeles, with appearances at the Viper Room, amazing LA Convention Center and, of course, the Roosevelt Hotel Love, as well as venturing, of course, to Vegas performing at the Orleans the Hotel, the Access Night Club at the Win, among many others.
Michael Devous:She has an award-winning, multi-talented and international variety burlesque show that she live hosts, specializing, of course, in fire eating, glass walking, aerial hula, hooping and magic. But what's really really important for us today on the Fearless Road is how she applies this particular skill set and what she does to helping build self-awareness, self-worth and self-value. So, in addition to her performances, she crafts one-on-one supportive workshops and environments where students get to become part of an international award-winning performer and show, building their self-confidence and their body awareness. She's done worldwide performances, online performances in webinars, as well as one-on-ones. She just completed a class I believe it was just last week, if not the week before right in Los Angeles, which was pretty amazing, and there's a big, big event coming up this spring I hope to be part of, where I get to learn how to eat fire, since I spit it all day long, hello. So, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Vivid Vixen hat LaCohi to the Fearless Road.
Cat LaCohie:Oh, my God Thank you, thank you.
Michael Devous:Yes, what a fabulous introduction, isn't the part? We're getting the part. Here's the applause.
Cat LaCohie:I got excited to meet this person that you're talking about, like ooh.
Michael Devous:Who is she Gotta get to know that?
Cat LaCohie:one. That's the person. Yeah.
Michael Devous:Talk to me a little bit about. Okay. So, like this is where we transition. I've done your intro. Everybody's amazed. Walk us up to the door of Cats Life, Like how, eh, you got here? Right, we are here, we're. This is their journey. This is where you've taken us. This is the path that we're on with introducing burlesque as a art form, not just in terms of performance, but also as an art form for healing, body awareness, self-worth and value, and corporate culture, mindfulness. So, for those of us who don't know you and those of us who don't know your past, let's get caught up real quick with Cat about how you got here.
Cat LaCohie:Oh my gosh, it's the longest story. I'll try to cut it down to the best part. So the highlight, the highlight, the highlight. So I started off in in North England, in Newcastle, as I was born, and I spent my whole childhood thinking, oh, I'm not in London. Nothing great can happen like. Only good things happen in London or in LA or these bigger places, you know.
Cat LaCohie:So I grew up thinking, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm like playing a small kind of thing, and I was super shy. I was terrified of people, I was getting criticized all the time and I found acting as a way to sort of escape being me. Basically, I love the idea of I can be anybody else, I don't have to be myself anymore. And, of course, when you get into acting, you realize that's absolutely not what acting is. It's bringing your true self to the role and really being very vulnerable about showing exactly who you are. So I got it totally wrong. When I first started acting, I had found physical theatre, which I loved because it was using your body to express yourself and being fully embodied. When I hated my body, I hated dance classes. I didn't look like everybody else, I wasn't just any person, I wasn't super flexible, and so my favorite form of performance was physical theatre, devising, being able to write stories and not just be the actor saying the line, but to create your own art as well.
Cat LaCohie:So then I moved to London because that's where all the things happened, according to me, and I trained in theatre all the rest of it, and then when I graduated, I found this breakdown for what was burlesque, and I'd never heard of burlesque. I didn't really know what it was. I knew about variety and musical and cabaret, but not specifically burlesque. And I was super drawn to it because you got the opportunity to be sexy, rather than saying that I'm sexy and I'm going to bring attention to myself and wear short skirts or whatever and then be criticized for it. It's like here's a platform where you're allowed to be and also expressing other versions of yourself, and it just seems really creative and fun. But again, I shied away from it because I thought I can't sing, I can't dance. I still hate my body. Why would I want to? Why would anyone accept me into this group? I'm not good enough for this. So I saw the show instead, and when I saw the show, I thought, oh my God, it's not what I thought. It's not a chorus line of everyone looking exactly the same. It's each individual person celebrating exactly who they are, and some were comedy, some were bombshells, some were like a bit more neo.
Cat LaCohie:So I joined that troupe. It's a story in itself. I did tell you. I went to the show and I got drunk after the show. I was like I need to be in your show, and that's when they were like we'll come and audition.
Cat LaCohie:So I was part of this troupe for about five years in London, which was my sort of being under their wing, of being able to experience all this magic acts and this aerial acts and fire performers and fights show, and I was able to really immerse myself in this world.
Cat LaCohie:So when I moved to LA in 2012, I just took what I already knew from London and just kind of delved into the world out here. And then in 2014, I started teaching and realized that the journey I'd had in Bralesque had opened me up as a person, had really built my confidence, had allowed me to do things in my life that I really would not have been able to do if I hadn't got that confidence from Bralesque. And so my goal was I don't want people to shy away from Bralesque, because I think it's just a dance class, because it's not that. It's self-exploration, rewriting your story, exploring your character, building your confidence in saying to the world look at me, and demanding to be seen. And so, since 2014, it's just got bigger and bigger and it's just been such a fulfilling work and that's how I'm here.
Michael Devous:Yay, I say yay and welcome everybody. Calla Cohe, or otherwise known as the vivid vixen. It's interesting because I don't know. I hope you guys can't hear the air conditioning. I apologize if that's the case for ladies and gentlemen that are out there. You know we're being vulnerable and we're being authentic and I work in a studio in a converted shed in the mountains of New Mexico and it doesn't have air conditioning. So I have to use a little air conditioning unit to help me stay cool in this 98 degree Weather. So I apologize if you can hear the hum and the buzz, but you know what? Humming and buzzing is all right, because that's what the bees and the birds do and we're just going to go with it. So if it's in the background and you don't like it, I apologize but embrace it. That's what I'm going to say.
Cat LaCohie:Embrace the hum.
Michael Devous:This is one of the things I love about A what you do, b that you discovered, that. It gave you confidence, it helped you find yourself, confidence and a different value for yourself in terms of your body image, your body worth, your ability to communicate, socialize with people and to be in groups and stuff differently than you were before and to step wholly into a different version of yourself than you were prior to this. And one of the things I forgot, I don't even think about, and you know, mind you, when I went into dance and stuff it was, I didn't think about this stuff. You know what I mean. I told your good dancer you should try out for this thing or whatever.
Michael Devous:I was 19, had no business doing this and I took to it like a duck to water, like apparently mad skill sets, crazy ability. And you know my best friend at the time, diana, who who will, you know, loves to tell the story about how I couldn't touch my toes, let alone save my life in a ballet class, to be too, to flash forward, you know, two or three years later, to be in a professional, doing it in such a short window of time, and she was like after I've worked so hard in my entire life to learn to do this stuff. And here you come along and all of a sudden you just do it and it didn't occur to me A that I couldn't do it. B it didn't occur to me that I was gaining any sense of self-confidence or identity through doing it. I just did it, I just loved doing it. You know what I mean it. Just, I had no problem being on stage, no problem accessing those parts of myself.
Michael Devous:I've always been exceedingly blessed, I think, in terms of that confidence. But I love that what we do or what we did, you know, can provide a platform for others to find self-confidence and build a sense of identity outside of what they're used to, right, in addition to or beyond their own understanding of who and what they are. This can help you gain an additional perspective, another facet to your personality, or maybe just overcoming some social phobias and fears that you may have about being in front of, talking in front of and performing in front of other people. Whether that's a presentation that you do at the office, right to pitch a new sales, a pitch, or whether you're, you know, going in for an interview or you're starting a business as an entrepreneur, self-confidence is a massive difference for us. It's a player in how we approach the things we do in our lives as entrepreneurs. So thank you for sharing that with us.
Michael Devous:I think before we go any further. Ladies and gentlemen, where can we find you? If we want to get to you online and we want to take one of your classes, what do we do?
Cat LaCohie:Absolutely so. I hang out on Instagram and Facebook, mainly Instagram. I have my Kat LaCoe at Kat LaCoe, all on Word Straight Through, and that's more of my motivational speaking and so behind the scenes stuff, just kind of what I'm up to. And then Fix and Deville is at Fix and Deville, all on Word, and that is more about my performance, some of my students, what my classes, what my classes are happening, so I have both. I would say I always follow both, follow both, and then my website, fixanddevillecom, and then my Kat LaCoe is speakerkatlacoecom as well.
Michael Devous:Awesome, okay, and it'll be, of course, on the YouTube channel and any of the links that I can provide, so totally going to be there for you guys. If you need it, just reach out. You can email me or you can reach us on the frithisroadcom and I'll get you that data and that information. In the meantime, while we're building our identity as entrepreneurs, business people, visionaries, leaders, we are just actually doing another interview earlier today Talking about the corporate mindset and the shift that we are experiencing and watching and seeing in the world of the corporate mindset and corporate culture, providing opportunities, workshops and ways to get leadership more in line with and more authentic with their messaging with employees right and do you find have you worked with a lot of corporate companies in order to help with this, or is it individual, one-on-one things that you find?
Cat LaCohie:yourself being more. I have worked with some corporate companies and it actually was really eye-opening the difference between being authentically you and second guessing what you think people want. Because some part of my brain went oh, I'm doing corporate, that means I have to now corporate Barbie myself. I can't be daytime Barbie or Malibu Barbie. I have to be corporate Barbie. I have to change what.
Michael Devous:I'm wearing.
Cat LaCohie:It's about the different brands of yourself, the versions of yourself. So part of me was like, oh, I can't really. Maybe I shouldn't say the word brulesque, I have to say performance art. Or I can't say your brulesque persona, I have to say your alter ego. And maybe change my verbage a little bit, which I have done when I've taught children, I've done some confidence in teenagers and I've changed it from like them, they tell, to like the panther or whatever. But I realized that they didn't want sometimes when they don't know you like maybe that's the foot in the door because there is the fee as everything else.
Cat LaCohie:But I had this woman hire me to come and do a workshop with her. It was like 150 people. It was about accessing the feminine in the entrepreneurial world. So, rather than oh, I'm a female entrepreneur, I have to be masculine. I will use masculine energy, like accessing your feminine energy and using that in business. So I come along and I think, well, I'm not going to dress up in my brulesque stuff because I don't want to be like hi, I'm the Blasphalma and I look amazing and you're just standard civilians. I want it to be like approachable, and I want it to be like you can, you too can be me, you know. And I just got there and she's like oh, where's your brulesque stuff?
Cat LaCohie:And I was like oh, I mean, I have it in my car, but I didn't want to like throw it in people's faces.
Michael Devous:You know, and this is what I think is interesting before, we are having a workshop on building authenticity, a workshop on identifying our authentic nature and authenticity and bringing that to the workplace, finding ways to engage and embrace our femininity, or what I should say. We probably should define that, because I feel like it's been poorly defined, especially in corporate world. But the fact that the very first thing that you are doing is trying to adjust your authentic self to meet an expectation already right.
Cat LaCohie:This is what we do when we go into the corporate world, when I'm teaching authenticity as well.
Michael Devous:Exactly, exactly. I mean, the absurdity of it is not lost on me that we literally are trying to present a version of ourselves rather than just be the authentic version of ourselves. Right, but this is not something I was talking to the gentleman J Thompson of the hike the mountain. He teaches corporate visionaries and ex and leaders and things like that, how to bring that cultural change to the workplace, but also how to be that cultural change. Right, if you're going to create a new strategy for cultural mindfulness and awareness and an openness, right, you as a leader have to be that.
Michael Devous:And I was talking about how we've got a system we've been living in and working in for many, many years that rewards, uh, conformity over authenticity, that embraces being quiet and not speaking up and not sharing too much risk averse versus taking a chance, sticking your neck out and trying show your own colors or your ideas. And, by the way, there's been a community I should say a society that has been built since the 80s on this very idea. You know that you're an employee, you're not to offer your feedback, your input is not needed. Leaders do that, um, and there's been no reward system in place for this. And now here we are moving and shifting into this new space where we're asking you to get vulnerable. We're encouraging, in fact, staff and employees are demanding that companies are more socially aware and in an active and have a presence, which then means you then, as a company, have to identify who you are Socially, ethically, morally, psychologically. You know who are you and who do you want to be.
Cat LaCohie:I think people are getting so much more savvy with um, their, their buying, like, their purchase power, their buying power and the fact that there's so much more available. Like 10 years ago, you know you couldn't just go on your mobile phone and and, and you know, go on Facebook and do all the things you could. It's, it's, everything is available to you now. So now it's not oh, I want a car, who do I go? Who's who does the best car? I want to go in order, take out what's nearest. It's oh, does Chick-fil-A support? Uh, like. Does Chick-fil-A not support? Like homosexuality? I'm never going to buy from them, or I've heard that Amazon does this to us as well as I'm not. I'm going to boycott Amazon. People are now going to businesses because of their mission and their, their goals and the way they treat people and what they stand for. Not just, is this product where I need and is it going to fulfill a, a purpose? You know.
Michael Devous:Yeah, I think we're at the crossroads between convenience and social, social awareness, the fact that our advertising, our social media which we didn't have social media before, let's call it what it was, before there were iPhones on this convenience of these platforms, you know, social media and a social brand was not something specifically that A the public had access to. It was something they were told, it was something they were sold and it was something that was marked, it was marketed to them. It wasn't something they engaged with. Now here we are. Not only can you research, study, be aware of and follow your favorite brands, but you can hold them socially accountable to their messaging and mission through these very platforms that they then use to ensure that they are communicating, engaging with their primary customers and clients. So we've, we've switched everything around now. So the power of this is definitely in the hands of the individual, more than it's ever been before.
Michael Devous:We have a socially conscientious, you know, responsibility to, to the greater good of society, to hold these companies accountable, and not just, you know, in terms of their what's convenient for me, because I get this cheap, easy, quick and fast, which is, you know, most of us fall into and most of us have been sold and marketed that very concept for many years. That isn't this great. You can get it for less and you can get it cheaper and you can get it whenever, without thinking for a second what the long term costs were. None of us knew that the people in Bangladesh were making those cheap t-shirts, or kids in China From manufacturing our toys that we give to our children Like. Nobody paid attention to that because we didn't have access to that information and our only demand was that it's cheaper and more convenient and America's got me lazy where that's concerned.
Cat LaCohie:I just launched a whole bunch of Vixen merch and part of it was eyelashes and eyelash glue.
Michael Devous:And I'm like.
Cat LaCohie:I've tested these and it's really good quality. Blah, blah, blah and I I had at least five people instantly go. Is it tested on animals? Is it vegan? Is it this? I was like yes, yes, absolutely. And I originally, when I was looking at that, because the vendors that were selling me the product were highlighting these elements that I hadn't even really thought to consider. But that's what people are going to be asking, and so I have a responsibility from my brand to say that Vixen isn't going to put shit out into the world. Vixen is not going to put out like harmful products into the world. So you do get this responsibility and especially with people being able to now call you out on stuff or post about you or question you, all of the entity is super, super important, because if I'm doing something, standing for something because it's a trend or because I think that's going to get me business, and if I stand for whatever it is. I've been watching the the debt versus herd trial documentary.
Cat LaCohie:So I decided to pick a side, right, they have no interest. I know it's crazy Say I have no interest in that trial, but just to promote my stuff I started going, just as for debt, or just as to Johnny, whatever. And then someone goes oh, vixen DeVilles with Johnny, but, but, but, but, but, but. And they pick at me. Well, now I can't stand up for that opinion, because I just had that opinion because it's the trending hashtag, so maybe I changed it, just as for her. And there's like oh right, so you have to be able to say this is why I stand for, this is what I do, this is what's going on. But when you do get criticism or judgment or trolls or whatever, you can be like yeah, like someone said, oh, oh, you post this on YouTube and I don't understand why you were naked. I was like because it was a Balesk act. Yeah, goodbye now.
Michael Devous:Like I don't have to go.
Cat LaCohie:Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Was that? Was that offensive?
Michael Devous:I go yeah Well and I think that's that is. That is the tricky. I don't even want to say quagmire, because that's it is kind of a quagmire. But this is in a world where and, by the way, this is what we straddle you and I and others straddle this place where being and becoming what you need me to be was my job.
Michael Devous:Learning how to learning how to edit the parts of me that I think you may or may not approve of or like became a full time job for me to ensure that you continued to like and approve of me, both at school, at work, at home. You know we give a different version of ourselves to every person. I'm probably one of the best examples of how I deliver and provide a very different version of myself to each one of my friends.
Michael Devous:They each see a different version of me, and it's funny when we all get together and they're like, whoa, who's this guy?
Cat LaCohie:Because I'm your turn to do bany right.
Michael Devous:Well, I don't know that. I don't know who to be. I just like the different pieces of me that they bring out. But what this does is like social bias I have my own biases about myself that I'm unaware of that.
Michael Devous:I'm unaware of that automatically come into play and begin to filter and begin to separate and begin to divide the pieces of me according to the room and the people I'm around, to ensure I'm giving you the best version of me at that time. Right, and while most of us probably don't think of it this deeply and don't do, don't realize we're doing it, that is what we do in the world when you go into a Starbucks or you get on a plane flight and you pop those headphones in because you don't want to be bothered, or you're excited about something because you just had a big win and your energy is infused and you're trying to talk about it and share it with other people. Or when you go into the office at work and you're not allowed to be socially boystress and outgoing, so you tone it down and you wear muted colors and you just fit in so that you don't stand out. And what we're asking for I'm sure what Kat is asking for is to find your standout. What is that part of you that is the OG, the original piece, the authentic piece, and this journey of discovering what that is.
Michael Devous:By the way, ladies and gentlemen, this is a long, this is not an easy road for us to walk down. This is not the Fearless Road, is not a destination. You don't get there overnight and you do have to ask the questions about what authenticity means to you. You have to begin to define what success and self-value and worth and integrity are for you if you're going to be authentic, if you're going to try to be authentic and I don't know that there's too many other really great ways to try to do this than to get on stage with Kat and really test out your boundaries. You know what I mean Really get into some uncomfortable zones to ask yourself that's where we grow, that's where we find some truths about ourselves. And most of us, I think, have gotten to a place where we're so comfortable with our Netflix special that we don't fear.
Michael Devous:You know what I mean Into the wildly unknown and uncomfortable. We just slowly stop doing as much of that as we used to and I'm wondering if, when you're in these classes and you have these people coming in, what is the biggest thing that you see when they're like having these ha ha moments about themselves? And about their environment, about their bodies. What is it that you witness as their mentor and their professor, Vixen?
Cat LaCohie:So so many things to say about that. Very, very recently I did a class for a YouTube channel and I think four of their girls took the class, then sort of feedback on it, and they all came in so terrified, even though they're YouTubers right, they used to be in front of camera and they used to, but there's classes being filmed from a number of different angles and they're all very at the beginning of the class. They know what is coming up for you before we start class. And one of them said well, I'm actually a dancer, so I'm feeling the pressure to be good at this. And someone else was like oh, I'm feeling the pressure of like I want to explore, but there's people watching and all that kind of stuff. And so I just said to them like I want you to really focus on this next session, this next few minutes, having fun, like you don't have to be good, you don't have to prove yourself, you've already proven yourself, you've got your YouTube channel with your millions of followers, so you're already good, you got it and you have to impress me, because I have no expectations from you other than just have fun. So there is no being good. Let's get rid of that.
Cat LaCohie:And I think, as adults and I heard on this TED talk about children women or girls will go towards something they know they're good at. They won't try anything else. And boys will try anything because, for some reason, not a pressure to be good at anything. But as we become adults, we don't want to be, we're like well, I'm an adult, I can't fail at this, I can't be bad at this, I need to prove myself. So we never try anything unless we expect that we'll be good at it.
Cat LaCohie:And I found myself doing that. I would take a class and think, well, I have to be good at this because I've always been the A star student. If I don't be good at it, well, what does that say about my identity? So I saw them very at the beginning and as we went through the class, oh my gosh, the anxiety just dropped, the playfulness came in. They forgot. The cameras were there, like 100% forgot. They were even being watched and you could see these barriers go down and they were just being. We say this authentic self like it's just elusive, like well, what is that? How do I get through my authentic self? But it's a weird sort of well. Once you stop thinking about it, it comes out right.
Michael Devous:There, it is like all of a sudden.
Cat LaCohie:If you've seen somebody who's drunk, if you've seen somebody be super angry, their emotions get that's their authentic self, because that isn't the filter. You're so angry in the moment that you're like, ah, or you're terrified. When you're in a high state of emotion, that's when you see your authentic self, or when you have alcohol and you got that filter on you. So when you're constantly like people are watching me, people are judging me, people are criticizing me, that's when you're not your authentic self. But it's just beautiful to see people totally let go of it.
Michael Devous:Well, I'm going to call out Simon Sinek here, because and Simon, you need to watch, you need to listen to my show, but you also need to get in touch with Kat, because Simon talked just the other day. I just listened to a podcast. He was saying that leaders spend so much time inside their industry, on their industry, with their industry, looking at numbers and data and whatever, trying to get better at that, and he said you won't get better at it until you step outside of your industry and look at what others are doing in other industries. Go do something completely different. And so my invitation to you is, ladies and gentlemen, simon Sinek, go do something completely different and get these leaders to take Kat's class.
Michael Devous:Because getting outside of A versus all your comfort zone B looking at the world, even if it's momentarily, from a different set of eyes and there's just very few opportunities where you really do get to step into these proverbial shoes, even though they might be high heels with feathers on them.
Michael Devous:The moment you get a gain, that perspective, the moment you've stepped outside of your own biases and you've stepped outside of your own inhibitions and you begin to see the world, and from just a slightly different angle, you can then begin to apply and approach the problem solving and issues and things you deal with as an executive leader, as a coach or whatever in your business. You can probably begin to see some things differently and new that you hadn't seen before, and it requires this leap. It requires this really getting out of that comfort zone. And then it's a practice. You do need to practice it. You're not going to be invited every week, by the way, to go to a workshop where you get to spitfire and do a strip tease to a speech that you wrote for a sales pitch.
Michael Devous:That right there is going to ask of you things that would never be asked of you, but it's also going to make you grow and it's going to make you think different. It's going to tap into some of the things that may be genuinely, by the way and authentically. You do so well already, but you just lost the hone of that. You know you haven't sharpened that tool enough and there's really no other way to sharpen it, but really get out there and do some of these things. So thank you.
Cat LaCohie:And just to supplement that what you're saying, I did do a session. I did a whole day session for this corporate group. That was all leaders coming out of their comfort zone kind of thing, and it was all people who were an expert in their field but moving into a different one. So there was someone from the military who was going to now start doing talks on PTSD, and there was someone who was in the law and he was going to go off and coach people in morality, in the law or something like that. So they were all already a professional, but now branching out.
Cat LaCohie:So I'm doing this brulesque class, followed by fire, for this mishmash of different people like all, different ages, different sizes, different races, different cultures.
Cat LaCohie:And right next to me is this older gentleman who, I'm thinking, maybe at least twice my age and I'm like, oh, I've got a workout for me here. I thought, no, just softly, softly, like, I'm just gonna like, you know, I'm not gonna push, push, push, but like just, and at the end because everyone sort of does a little performance at the end, he did this, he's so, and I say select the music you want, let the costume pieces you want, and then we've worked on this movement. So he selected this really upbeat, cheesy song. He put on a pair of bunny ears and a chef's apron and he did this beautiful little hopity, hopity, fun, fun, dam. And I was like that, like that version of you, rather than the stuffy I'm in a suit lawyer guy. We all fall in love with that person, so show us more of that. And I said what did you get out of this? He goes I haven't had fun in like 20 years and I need to bring fun into what I do.
Cat LaCohie:I can't just stand up there and lecture and give the facts, give the facts, give the facts. Flip chart, flip chart. I need to make it fun and like I hadn't really grasped that until right now and I was like that, yes, like that, well, I call these people, my transition tribe.
Michael Devous:A lot of people that listen to this show are in transition, and by that I don't necessarily mean transitioning from, you know, male to female or just in your life 100% supportive of your transition as well, because that is a real, legit thing to get to your authenticity and express your authenticity.
Michael Devous:By the way, there's probably no, there's probably very few real authentic representations of what it means to chase authenticity than those who are actively recreating them, their bodies and their, their lives. And this expression of it through the color and and makeup and hair, whatever it is that it is that you do, that expresses yourself. That's 100% getting into it, right. But I call this the transition tribe because we're we're shifting from I'm starting a new business, I'm going back to school, I'm starting a new career, I'm stepping up in leadership. You're transitioning, as you pointed out, from who and what you were here into something that you want to be over here. And that little well, I think little.
Cat LaCohie:I apologize for that I mean to you know, diminish it at all.
Michael Devous:That step, that journey, that leap from from one point to the other in terms of transitioning, is the space where we discover a lot of things. Let's I mean, the list is probably endless, but this is the journey of the fearless road. This is where the fearless are born, this is where characters built, this is where people discover pieces of themselves that they might have forgotten about or lost. And, like that gentleman said, you know, having fun well, having fun legitimately, feeling like you're having fun right, I believe is tied to vulnerability. I believe you have to be vulnerable Absolutely.
Michael Devous:To really be available to have fun.
Michael Devous:Part of that is being able to make fun of yourself.
Michael Devous:Part of that is and I don't mean that disparagingly, like a lot of us can do a lot of you know self, self, self talk.
Michael Devous:That is not positive or whatever. But poking fun at oneself is a good sense of humor about some of your weaknesses and flaws and able to bring some of those things up to to make fun of yourself. So it's not so heavy, right. But that also allows you, when you're in that vulnerable, vulnerable space now you're primed to have fun because you can now enjoy and embrace any of the new and different and things that might come along, because you're not at risk for thinking too much about yourself. You're not at risk for overthinking about my persona and how I'm going to be perceived. You're just one other set being you and now you're ready to have a good time and I think that's kind of cool. There's always a lot of workshops and programs are like yours, where they what kind of fun are you going to have? Not that you can't enjoy yourself, but true fun. I agree with you. I think there's a lot of people who could use and what's even, what's even better is that it's not.
Cat LaCohie:People would say that Vixen Deville the, my brolesque persona, was either like a character I'm hiding behind or a mask I'm hiding behind or it's something I'm creating. It's different from a cat, but what I'm saying is that I'm excavating like I'm putting. I would have, when I was younger, put on cat the shy, quiet person as my mask, because the shy, quiet person didn't get criticized and didn't get judged. So it's just finding the parts of yourself that you've lost. It's like I used to be able to speak some German.
Cat LaCohie:I toured in Germany for four months and I got pretty close to fluent German. I haven't used it for ages. If you don't use a certain skill, you lose it. Like I can't really play piano anymore. I can't speak German, as you know. Whatever, whatever.
Cat LaCohie:But if in your past life so say, you're transitioning into the city life of whatever it is, entrepreneurship, whatever in your past life there's maybe skills or activities that you did that then you didn't do because you didn't need them in your current life, right. So you've learned to not use them and then you've forgotten that you used to have them. You've forgotten that you had certain skills of certain qualities. So all I'm doing in this class is now saying cool, you now can be this whole new version of yourself. So let's unearth what we've lost.
Cat LaCohie:What did you used to do as a kid? What did you used to do when you're 15? What interests did you have? How did you spend your time? What were you told you shouldn't be like? What did you learn wasn't good, like oh, I shouldn't do ballet because I'm male. I shouldn't do this because it's it's disgusting or whatever you know. Oh, I shouldn't wear red shoes because they're for prostitutes. I don't know what people say, but you've been told a lot of bullshit, right, you've been told a lot of stuff and you learned to be a certain way for the life that you had.
Cat LaCohie:So great. Now we've got a new life, a new environment and just in the same way that I go from the habit of being a London never wearing sunscreen to now being an eye and being someone who wears sunscreen, a lot like it's just during a different environment. Different qualities are required for you in that environment. So let's rediscover the person that you are rather going oh, I'm, I'm, I would never do that. I'm not sort of person to get up and speak. I'm not a sort of person who would ride a horse. I'm not a sort of person who's good at math. I'm not a sort of person. How do you know you? You learned to be a certain person and now we can have a rebirth, a re-coming of age and and rediscover what really is lying underneath all that beliefs.
Michael Devous:Yes and yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and I. This, of course, goes back to when I was talking about conforming, where we're, where our society is built on, rewarding us for conforming, but nothing. I don't think it's ever more evident, or at least it feels that way to me. Pardon me, while I adjust this, I just want to make sure I'm looking at, I have windows and things open so that I can be on top of things my schedule. So in my speech, one of the things I talk about that I believe you know that I've on my journey, that I've discovered kids. We are born with specific things that we learn how to do. Two fears the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. But the other thing that humans are born with, naturally, that we do is storytelling and dreaming. In fact, I the reason why I came to this conclusion at least I should say I got down this far was I was writing about some of the first stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves. What are the? What do you?
Michael Devous:think about some of the first things you used to say about yourself to yourself. And I was like, oh yeah, well, if I don't wear this outfit, I don't have these proper jeans, or if I don't cut my hair like this, they won't like me If I don't date this person, or if I don't get good grades, and my parents won't be happy if I don't make this sports team. And I was like, no, no, no, actually that's not the first ones. The OG stories we told ourselves when we were five and six, on the playground, pretending to be a superhero, pretending to be a space astronaut or a cowboy, whatever it was you dreamt of being. That was the first stories you told yourself about yourself, that you could be anything. And it wasn't until later that these little self-doubts, this should syndrome that you're talking about, that we get shoulded shoulded to death about. You shouldn't be this, you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't dress this way, you shouldn't talk like that, you shouldn't eat this thing, you shouldn't dress like this, you shouldn't go there. I mean, my God, that list is endless about who's going to tell you what you shouldn't shouldn't do in your life when, along that journey, you have been you by the way, and this is something they were telling, I think they were saying to you, was you know how you're hiding behind this persona, you know, as opposed to it being your authentic self, and I'm like, who in this world can stand in front of me and honestly tell me you think you're being the most authentic version of yourself and that you haven't edited out pieces of yourself over the last 15, 20, 30 years of your life in order to be something better for someone else? Right, we've all done it, we've all practiced it. We did it in kindergarten, we did it in junior high, we did it at the dance, we did it in college. To fit in, we all began editing away the pieces of ourselves that we perceived would have the potential to interfere with our perception of success or being perceived as fun and lovable, likable, appreciatable, whatever right, fill in the mix. And if that meant that you went off to school to be a baseball player, a football player, or you went to go be a dancer at college, or you went to go into accounting your physics or the biology, you know you fit the mold. You adjusted, changed your outfit, changed your persona, changed the way you performed and behaved in that circle to fit what you thought they really wanted what would be the best version of that. We've all done it. In fact, that's what humans are good at.
Michael Devous:We are brilliant at reinventing ourselves. We are brilliant at creating stories for ourselves. We are brilliant at dreaming up the most amazing things you can ever think of. Hello, look around you, world. We can fly through the skies. We've got skyscrapers everywhere, amazing bridges, incredible architecture, cars that drive on electricity.
Michael Devous:Like we are dreamers and builders, it is no wonder that we become entrepreneurs. It is no wonder that we, the entrepreneurs of this world, are the ones doing the hard work, trying to find new dreams, trying to build new pathways, trying to excite the world around new ideologies and new thought patterns and new processes and services and goods, because we're built to do this. But simultaneously, right alongside this journey of building these dreams and becoming something bigger and different, is the part of us that doubts, is the part of us that fears, is the part of us that worries. That isn't outside of us, it isn't coming from somewhere else, it isn't coming from outside, it's right here, embracing that fear, embracing that relationship with those parts of yourself that might not always get enough attention, might be a little awkward and different and weird. You know, that's what Kat offers us, that's what her program gives us a little bit of insight to loving the inner part of ourselves that, while it may or may not be authentic, you don't know unless you ask and you certainly don't know unless you go on a journey of self-discovery to find what parts of you are authentic.
Michael Devous:Because I think somewhere along the way we forgot. I think somewhere along the way we forget. Gosh, you know, I really liked doing that when I was seven. I really loved riding my bicycle and doing. I haven't ridden a bicycle in 50 years. Why not Like what's holding me? Why did I stop doing the things that give me fun? It's checking in as checking in like you said what do I like doing?
Cat LaCohie:Because I remember being with certain friends.
Michael Devous:It could have changed too.
Cat LaCohie:It could have changed, but also how you know, like I might have learned that I only like horror films, because the people I used to hang out with all liked horror films. I remember going to a film with a boyfriend and he was like, oh God, that was terrible. I went home and my mom went. How was the film? I went, oh, it was terrible. I thought, no, what was it though? And I, just repeating what he said, what did I actually think about that film?
Cat LaCohie:And so we might have hobbies or activities or beliefs, or whatever they are, that we don't know what feeling like I call them yummy feelings and knowing whether you like broccoli or like cauliflower and the difference between them, or whether you like rice or like pasta, like, unless you taste it and then compare it with something that you don't like and you know what I want, this feels like and I don't want this feels like. If you just have the num, tell me what to like, I even know what, what preferences feels like, and so I really have my students start. I give them options. I let I don't say here's the music we're going to do today or here's the movement that we're going to do today. I let them be kind of like the kid in the sand pit. What toy do you want to play with, kid? What would you like to eat for lunch?
Cat LaCohie:Like, you make your choices so you can experience it and they go actually, no, I really didn't like that. Or actually, oh my God, I really like that. I didn't know that. I liked that. And getting in touch with this feels aligned. This doesn't feel aligned. I think it's also something we can lose because we're just doing what the company told us, what our parents told us, what our parents told us. So that's a really muscle to exercise as well.
Michael Devous:Okay, yes, sorry, I'm, my brain is going into this area. Alignment, like you said, we we sometimes abdicate responsibility for our own desires and needs because it's just easier to get along, it's just easier to just just do whatever you're over. You know what I mean, and so what you do is you, and that's. I'm not arguing against that.
Michael Devous:I think that's fine, we all do we all need to know when a hit win, a battle is. You know when the hill is necessary to climb and it's not necessary climb. It's like just go along and get along. Right, there's some things where I'm like go along, get along. You're clearly an outlier here. You're just going to ruffle feathers. Is it worth your time? And there's to bring up your, your different opinion or your idea, and sometimes I think that's valid, I think that's fair, but what I, what I would? The reason why I bring that up is I think we've gotten so comfortable and good at doing that to ourselves that we fall into. In fact, this is one of my things my yogi instructor says, which I love. Travis Elliott talks about you will always fall to your, your best practices.
Michael Devous:So, if you are only practicing X all the time, then when you do falter, you will falter to a level of X, because that's where your sense memory is, that's where your practice is, that's where your art or whatever is. You know, that's where that lies. And if you go back and you look at it, like, oh my God, my practice is down here, it isn't elevated, it isn't open, it isn't, you know, ready for change and opportunity, just in that comfort zone of acceptable, tolerable, limited right, because I'm too tired to think differently, I don't want to try. It's so much of an effort, like the things that we say in our heads that slowly chip away at our identity, our authenticity and our originality, which is where we're, you and I, are saying no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We need that.
Michael Devous:That's what the world wants, that's what society needs. This is what corporations need is this original thinking, authentic, authentic self. And we're asking you, brave ones, fearless road warriors, to continue to do that. Bring that forward and try to find new and identify ways to practice bringing that out in entrepreneurs and leadership. And I think one of the ways is is this course is incredible, like I think this journey of you know. Dress up and play, yeah why do we have?
Michael Devous:that as kids I mean think about from a psychological. We should probably have a psychologist on here, a child psychologist. Dress up and play. Dress up and play is such a crucial process for kids in their early development stages and their brain development stages why? Well, apparently and I'm just going to pull this out of my ass Apparently it benefits the neuroplasticity of the brain for their ability to identify with the world around them and build an environment that feels feels familiar to them by seeing how they interact with the world. Right, by identifying who I am in comparison to the things around me, not judgment comparison. There's a difference between saying I am this compared to that, as opposed to that is good and I'm not right.
Cat LaCohie:Right.
Michael Devous:Absolutely. We have to be very careful when teaching kids about this, because kids will default very quickly to judging as opposed to comparing. Comparison can be the killer of ingenuity and creativity. For those of us who are adults going oh I'm not as good as, that's not comparing, that's judging. If you're doing that, you're judging yourself, you're judging your technique, you're judging your skill set. You're not comparing. Comparing is saying, oh, that's what that offers, this is what I offer. Here's how they're different without the judge.
Cat LaCohie:Here's an apple. Here's an orange. This one's orange colored, this one's green there is no good or bad, it's just the different color. This one's like colored when you bite into it. This one has a peel that I peel off it. Okay, cool, like do I like that, do I not like that? Do I want to make mine more like that, less like that? But you're not saying it's good or bad, it's just. How are these two things different? Oh, interesting as asking the questions.
Michael Devous:And yes, and asking the questions is what I think you do in that workshop, which I don't think we allow ourselves. We do that for kids you can see parents doing that in restaurants and stuff or like, well, what would you like? Well, let's take a look. Like no, we don't go to Sitna Go. Like well, what would I like? Like well, how would you like? Like, I don't ask myself, I just choose things based on, I don't know, whatever the data is that's floating through my head and whatever makes it past the filters right Suddenly becomes the thing you do. And if you're tired, hungry, angry, whatever you know, your choices might get limited even further because you're, you don't have the energy to even try To try.
Michael Devous:So you default to somebody else's choices. Whoever's at the dinner table that's the loudest decided on chicken. Well, we're eating chicken, I guess, so who cares? But I think that speaks to a larger point, which is, if we've become a society that by default edits or compromises ourself and our identity and what we want because it's easier or more convenient, or we've told ourselves this, we're cheating the world and we're cheating ourselves by the way of bringing our own brilliance and creativity and originality to every situation that's out there.
Michael Devous:I don't know, I think I just got off on a soapbox platform on this one. So my, I guess my point is cat brings the OG. So yeah, if you're going to get original and you want to find yourself and you want to find true happiness through a workshop that allows you to ask what do you want today? And you haven't asked that question before and you haven't been asking that question in a long time I would encourage you definitely to check out cat's course or workshop and classes. But if you can't ask yourself not just what do I want, maybe ask yourself why do I want it? Maybe that's the bigger question.
Cat LaCohie:I'm all about the why, when I stop my students on anything, anything. Anything may ask me. I want to move, I want to start doing file, I want to apply for this thing. I want to stop producing. I want to. I want to make this new costume. I'm always like start with your why?
Michael Devous:Cause that is why you think you want through everything I'm telling you 2023 is the year of the why for me.
Michael Devous:I don't know if it is for anybody else but when I started this journey for motivational speaking with Spit your Lab, when I started it for the podcasting, when I started it with all these different things, it was identify your why. It was understanding the purpose and the why. And if your why doesn't make you cry, then your why isn't strong enough. And now I was like I'm 53, I have a how come. I didn't know my why this whole time. I haven't had a why. How have I made it through this world without a why?
Cat LaCohie:Everybody else has a why. Why did I have a why? But even just like I, I'm completely why this?
Cat LaCohie:happened. I like looking at it with habits as well. Like I hate paying for parking in LA and like I don't want to do valet. And I was driving to and it's not that it's going to be a through line, but I was driving to this thing and the valley was like $10. I thought I'm not paying that $10. I thought why? I thought because I know I can just park around the corner. I really, why is it? Even if I have millions of, even if I was a millionaire, I would do that. What would a millionaire do? Even if I was a millionaire right now, I would refuse to pay that $10 because I could literally just park there.
Cat LaCohie:Then I went to an event. I was super late for it. I was in the show. I had to get my parking. I thought, oh, I don't want to pay valet. I thought. But why? I thought because I'm being pedantic, to be fair, they're providing me a service. I'm late, there's nowhere else to park. It's worth me $10 to just park my car. So, looking at your, why like, oh, I really want to drink right now. Why I'm just going to eat this kind of whatever. Why? But check, check in. Is it a habit? Is it a learn? Is it because it's just something that your friends are doing? I've started doing that with every little, mini, little thing I'm doing, or I should put makeup on for the podcast. Why, though, do you feel the pressure? Is it going to make you feel?
Michael Devous:better. I love doing it with everything. This is the thing that they drilled down on when asking the why for developing your expert positioning statement for your speaking.
Michael Devous:Yeah, or even if you're doing a podcast and you want your. Why you go well, I think it's because blah, blah, blah. Why, well? Because I think I can deliver this. Why, well, but I think it'll do good. If I do X, why? And I was like you know what? It reminds me of that little seven year old son of a who just sits around. Oh, the one who gives you a why.
Cat LaCohie:I just said that was going to be my mom. Crazy Seven Ys beats, do you?
Michael Devous:remember the feeling that it gives you where you're like fuck. I don't have an answer for the seventh, why, like I don't know why, Because like how many of us don't, and I know that kid's just being a kid and they're just asking why, but it really does test you and it really does ask have you thought about your why? If you can't take your why down three, four, five different iterations and really get down to it, why are you doing whatever it is that you're doing?
Michael Devous:If you don't know why. It kind of begs the question why you know so yeah that's an important thing, I think, knowing your why is what?
Cat LaCohie:makes you feel less because you're like well, I absolutely need to do this thing because I have this why, and if you don't have your why, you're going to find an excuse to give up. You're going to find a reason to sort of pull back and not complete. Yes, if your why isn't.
Michael Devous:If your why is not strong enough, all the other excuses and reasons will easily outplay it. They will easily create procrastination, they will easily seep in to your schedule, they'll get on to your calendar when you're not looking. Because your why is what is your compass? It is the piece that you use to navigate the world and your life, and if you don't have that, then you are kind of at the whim of the winds and the waves of life, because you don't have a rudder and you don't have a sail and you're not exactly sure which way you're going, because that why is too loose, right? That why is too easily manipulated and influenced. So, yeah, it's good stuff. Get your why, folks.
Cat LaCohie:Get your, why you?
Michael Devous:know I always ask my guests about their OG story, their origin story, with fear. Do you have an origin?
Cat LaCohie:story with fear.
Michael Devous:Like how do you know? First of all, I ask what is your relationship with fear? Because I think people need to know. You have one. You may not know it yet, but we all have a relationship with fear. And secondly, if you do have a relationship with fear, do you know what your OG story is with it? Like your the first time you can remember dealing with fear and addressing it head on.
Cat LaCohie:I am trying to go as far about as possible and I had a fear of going to school. I had a fear of my brother because he was very aggressive and very loud. I think I had a fear of going to sleep, like I would stay up really, really late at night and ask my mom to like read me another story, because I didn't want to go to sleep, because I think my dad had died when I was very young. I think I learned that if you go to sleep people go missing, kind of thing.
Cat LaCohie:So yeah like what will like if I go to sleep? I need to be on, I need to be like on patrol. I can't go to sleep and, like you know, let the night guard go off, sort of thing. I don't remember why I hated school so much and because I know I was kind of bullied in school later on, but not when I was like five or six. I just hated going back and maybe it was the leaving the home and leaving my mom being, like my mom's, my only parent now Like I need to make sure she's okay, otherwise something will happen to her. But I remember I remember being scared of my brother when he got really aggressive and loud and then thinking I'm going to use this as practice, like I would go headlong into it and like actually fight him or actually like have the argument.
Cat LaCohie:Because, I thought I can practice fighting somebody. I can practice winning someone at an argument, so that when it's not my brother and it's someone in the street or it's an aggressor I've been there before I really strongly remember like, let me use this practice, which I guess is kind of like, you know, when you have a bunch of like lion cubs in the role play, fight in each other. They're just kind of practicing the thing.
Michael Devous:So yeah, I guess I guess, if you boil that down to, I felt the fear and did it anyway, Like I just went into the fire of it Key, like, first of all, feeling the fear and doing it anyway, which I want to come back to a momentarily. But then, when you were mentioning about the fear of going to sleep and it occurred to me when we're kids and we do our prayer nighttime prayers, you know, not everybody does- them, but when you do nighttime prayers you say the one that's I'm going to say bless the soul lord for these gifts, but that's at the dining room table, so that doesn't count.
Michael Devous:Yeah, but dub, dub, yeah for the grub. This one is the one that says and if I die, before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. And I just realized, oh my God, what is a seven year old supposed to do with that concept? Like, what are you?
Cat LaCohie:supposed to do. They might die in their sleep.
Michael Devous:Yes, if you die like bless your family before you close your eyes because you could die Like what kind of a horrible situation. I grew up not going to rest. I mean, how many years did I not rest Because I was like, oh, I'll close my eyes? What if I don't wake up? What if I haven't blessed all the right people and then they don't go to heaven because I didn't bless my uncle or I forgot somebody on the list?
Michael Devous:Like that pressure, that's pretty insane to put on a seven year old, instead of just saying let's just pray for everybody and hope they have a great day or they get some good rest, Rock a bye, baby, and you know if the bowel breaks. I mean talk about terrible songs and things that teach children.
Cat LaCohie:If you ever switch off, if you ever stop, if you don't sleep with when I open, you're going to bad. Things are going to happen, that's so funny Lord.
Michael Devous:It's no wonder. You know no wonder. And I give you permission parents to do it differently and I tell you kids out there, it's okay. One day you're gonna wind up older like us and need a dance class to help you figure out why you can't close your eyes when you go to sleep at night time.
Michael Devous:So we just solved a world problem. So that's your OG story, that's your origin story of fear. Yeah, I'm gonna, which I love that you thought of it as practice. It's one of the things you know. When I was looking at my relationship with fear and trying to find out why I approached the things in my life, the tragedies and the different incidences in my life, different than apparently other people did. I didn't know this, of course you know. You know you don't have the opportunity to compare your life to other people's experiences until you get older and you start asking the question.
Michael Devous:You just assume every kid on the block was bullied. You just assume everybody ended up with divorced parents. You just assume people always ate. You know, mayo and peanut butter. You know, didn't they Like?
Cat LaCohie:not that, that was my treat Like when families were saying you think so, didn't you?
Michael Devous:I mean you, because you operate from inside the own little framework of your own little world, with your own little filters and your own experiences, and so that's what you have.
Michael Devous:Until you realize that you know that, that you didn't do things the way other people did, and that you possibly do have a different relationship with fear and anxiety and challenges, that you approach the world differently. Do you think that that moment, and then the practiced moments that you did after that, changed the way that you approached life from then on forward and, as a result, we're able to take on certain I would say, certain things that other people were shied away from?
Cat LaCohie:For, for I'm trying to trying to really think about of an honest answer.
Michael Devous:Okay, so let me take you to the when you were talking about how you got into the dancing right was you were intimidated by it, but then you really wanted to do it anyway. Right. That part of you that wanted to practice the art of arguing with your brother, fighting with your brother, but so that you could be skilled and prepared for that in the future out in the world meant two things. One is you saw it as an opportunity to. You, understood already and instinctually in the world that there were going to be moments when you won't get to argue just with your brother.
Michael Devous:You won't be in this comfortable, safe space where doing so allows you an out where you can tag out or you can do whatever. But you're going to be in the real world one day and that isn't an option. So being better at holding your own or making your argument stick or debating was of value to you.
Cat LaCohie:It got me. I think what the pattern is is that it was. Let's see how bad this really is. Rather than shutting my door and powering my room and fearing the unknown which I know most of my fears now are in the unknown. I get nervous if I don't know a certain thing.
Cat LaCohie:I don't know what the venue is going to be or I don't know what the situation is going to be. I don't know who's meeting me at the airport. I get fear of the unknown. So what I've done in the past is well, let's find out, let's see how bad it actually really is, let's go face into it so that I'm not fearing the unknown anymore. Because if the bad thing happens, well then it happened. And then I knew and I found out. So when I was thinking about moving to LA, I was like oh, I'm not sure if I need a visa or a W visa or how difficult it is. And everyone goes well, it's difficult, it's difficult. It's going to be like well, let's just find out, let's start calling some people and finding out. And if I've ever gotten into trouble, it's like well, let me just make some calls and find out. What is the severity of this, what does this really mean? Like if I've ever got a growth or thought of being cancer at one point, and my friend was like well, let's just see what it. You know, I was like let me just find out, let me just go to the doctors, get her checked out. I'd rather know, I'd rather just know and I can deal with the bad. Bad thing and I think that's my favorite word is.
Cat LaCohie:I went to San Francisco and I was looking at like hotels to stay in because I was working. So I thought I don't need a really nice hotel, I just need someone to like lie down for like six hours at night. And all of these reviews were like it has homeless people and it's this and it's that. I was like, yeah, but there's homeless people in LA down where I live. So it's not like, are these really legitimate bad reviews or is it just someone who doesn't know what it's like to be around homeless people? So I thought I'm not letting fear make me then pay ridiculous amounts for a hotel that I'm not even gonna be in for half the time. This is just stupid ass fear.
Cat LaCohie:So I booked this hotel. I looked it on Google Maps. It was kind of okay. I got to the hotel room and I thought I'm gonna see what's around, I'm gonna see how bad the homelessness is, I'm gonna see how gritty it is, I'm gonna see if it's kind of like gangs around. And so I put on my leather jacket and I embodied my badass burlesque persona and I left all my valuables so I wasn't carrying it and I just walked around the block. And I thought right, if someone tries to attack me I'll run, I'll do the thing, but at least then I'll know what. Outside my hotel room, rather than sitting in the hotel room going, oh God, I heard a bang, I heard this noise, I heard this oh, what is going on out there? Well then, find out. Find out Now I know.
Michael Devous:It sounds to me like what you have here, or what you're describing to me, is what are you capable of?
Cat LaCohie:right, finding out what you're capable of Finding out what you're capable of.
Michael Devous:And if what you believe you're capable of is if let me rephrase it if what you believe the world is capable of is greater than what you're capable of, you will cower and you will hide, yeah, and then you find out. What you're capable of is the moment you're no longer in fear of the unknown. Like what do you think the world's capable of doing to you? What do you think those homeless people might be doing if you get near them, or any of those? What do you say? The unknowns right, that's you putting power and building up what the world is capable of, not what you're capable of.
Cat LaCohie:And I think that's so interesting.
Michael Devous:Shifting, that If you could just understand and take the chance, like Kat has done here in our life, is you ask the question wait, what am I capable of In this moment and in this scenario? I don't know these answers, I don't know these outcomes, I don't know these things, but if I put myself out there, I will find out very quickly A what I'm capable of. B whether or not they're true, and then, c I will have enough information and evidence to make an educated decision about my next step, which most of us don't do Like a lot of people don't do, I mean, I think, also teaching yourself that Teaching yourself that you're capable of I tell my students.
Cat LaCohie:I tell my students like, teach yourself that you complete, Teach yourself that when you give yourself a challenge, you succeed. And the reason I become more fearless is because I've taken risks, many, many risks, and low stakes risks. But I've taken them and I've embarked on endeavors and I've completed them so that now, when I do take a risk or I am faced with something, I have this black catalog of proof that I can do these things.
Cat LaCohie:And that is what we're doing, like in the rehearsal room. Try this thing, and now you know you can do it on stage. I try being a certain way as Vixen de Vil, so I now know when I'm out in the real world as cat I can say those things, do those things and the bad things are gonna happen. It's absolutely like practicing Taekwondo in the dojo and now when you're out on the street you've got that learned muscle memory. So practicing in that, like the playground it is place, exactly, it's a whole circle, it's play fighting. Do it in the place where it's low stakes, your safe environment, whatever it is, so that then you have that as memory, as proof, so that you can take that into the battlefield with you, wherever it is you're going, knowing that I can do this thing, I am capable of this thing, and you believe in yourself rather than believing in the bullshit lies.
Michael Devous:Oh, and I think that's so. Yay, I think we discovered something here. I think this is a nugget, that's what we discovered that felt really. I was like, oh, that's it, oh, the tingly feel, that's the big nugget for today, the golden nugget to this mining field.
Cat LaCohie:Practice.
Michael Devous:Well, it's not just the practice, but it's the rehearsing of what you're capable of.
Cat LaCohie:It's the.
Michael Devous:I think when you're out of practice, finding out like, by the way, when we're kids all you do is practice to find out what you're capable of. Everything you do is a test to see how much more you can do Walking, running, riding a bicycle, jumping off of something, practicing it, a sport or an instrument or whatever. Every step of that way is a reimagining of what you can do, a testing of your skill sets to see if you can try to do it, and then a confirmation of whether or not you've got what it takes to take that next step. And if you don't, you reiterate and you find little smaller steps, and then you get there right. As you get older, once we're adults, the practice of being a person, the practice of adulthood, the practice of an art form or anything else like that, really diminishes, I guess, and so we're out of practice at practicing being ourselves, and so this is a great thing. This is what you're capable of.
Michael Devous:If, in that moment, if you're fearful of something, have an anxiety about something, ask yourself this question Is what you're fearful of, is what you have anxiety for? Is it a concept that what's outside of you is bigger and more capable than you? And if that statement is not true, if it cannot be true, meaning it's not possible for the world to be bigger and more than me? I can be bigger and better than all this. I can try, you know, like, how do you reframe it? How do you put this in your brain?
Michael Devous:Like for me, if I were to stop and ask the question is what's currently happening bigger than me and is it more capable than I am in enduring it, dealing with it, overcoming it, solving it? Right? I'm nine times out of 10? No, I've, like you said, I've already fallen 8,000 times. I've done the risk and I've broken and I've hurt and I've done all those things and I'm still here today to say, oh yeah, it didn't kill me, I'm not gonna die if I try that, oh, it's no big deal, because I've already done it and I have, like you say, the lexicon of data and information sitting behind me where I can confidently walk and go. Oh yeah, I can give that a try. I think that's what's different about a lot of us as entrepreneurs, visionaries, leaders, subject matter experts and stuff is that what we know we can try to do is a bigger laundry list than what we don't think we're capable of. Well, does that make sense? Absolutely like try it out with fun.
Cat LaCohie:Yeah, try it out with fun. I have this weird relationship with you and I have this weird relationship with driving. I didn't learn to drive, but I learned to drive when I was 17 and I failed my test, so I never drove because I was based in London, didn't need a car. Blah, blah, blah blah, came to LA. Oh, now I need to drive, oh, yeah, it's LA right so.
Cat LaCohie:I learned to drive in my late 20s in a stick shift in London and then flew for 10 hours super jet lag, got into a different continent, got into a rental car but it's not stick shipped on the other side of the road and then had to drive it for an hour to where I was living and I'm like what is life? So I have this kind of like if someone's in the car with me and I know they can drive and this has changed the last couple of years, but it used to be that I was like oh my God, they're judging my driving, they think I'm terrible. Or if someone was in the car and you couldn't drive, I'm a super cool driver. Look at me driving.
Michael Devous:And.
Cat LaCohie:I'd have this kind of like obsession with, like if I've got a big SUV, like I don't know how to drive it. Oh so I got booked for this gig over in Kansas City and they're like, well, rent you a car, pick it up at the airport and then drive it to the event. And it's this big SUV, and I'm like, oh my God, I don't know how to, I don't. And I'm like an adult, I can't ask for help. I thought, just stop, just do it, just ask this child for help. This guy looks like 40, he's 16, I was like hi, I don't know how to drive this spaceship. Could you show me how to do?
Cat LaCohie:it and there's like a button to press and everything else. I felt so old. I felt like the old person going show me how to use a telephone. But on the way to this place in Kansas City I thought why can't this be fun? Why isn't this? A kid driving a go-kart? Just be like. Look at my life. I get to drive this really souped up, crazy ass car in the middle of a town I've never been to. Isn't this fun? And I've learned to say isn't this fun? Rather than oh my God, I'm terrified. Isn't this fun? Because terrified and excited can be the same thing. And now I've had to drive this SUV recently and it's great. It's fun because I proved to myself back in Kansas City that I can do this. So whenever something comes up that's a bit like oh my God, just start. Oh, isn't this fun? This is new, this is different, this is fun.
Michael Devous:There you go, like a verbal acknowledgement of oh, this is interesting and different, we can do this.
Cat LaCohie:Interesting. Yeah, let's find out. I have started doing that recently, like the, let's find out. I'm worried about this. Well, let's just find out.
Michael Devous:I was a friend of mine took me to Six Flags. This was a few years ago. I was in my 40s and I used to, as a kid, used to love roller coasters, used to love all those things. And here I am, 40-some-one years of age. It's been over 20-some-one years since I've been on one and I was, quite frankly, terrified because I was like, oh my God, you know I've been on these roller coasters in forever. I just parted me. That was legitimately frightened and I was like what is this feeling?
Cat LaCohie:Why. And because you hadn't practiced.
Michael Devous:I hadn't practiced. Let me tell you this. We were there for eight hours that day. I rode every single terrifying roller coaster, and the scary of the roller coaster was the more I laughed my ass off.
Michael Devous:Oh my God, I love it I laughed so hard I had tears pouring out of my face. My friend was sitting next to me grasping the grip of death on everything as we literally fly through flames throwing over the. You know what I mean. Like, roller coasters aren't what they used to be, Like little rickety things, you know. Nowadays it's like it flips upside down. You fly underneath, you get the flames are blowing into the waterfall. But the scarier it got, the more I laughed. I mean I just came unglued spiritually and I was like what, what is that Like? Where did that come from?
Michael Devous:Why is that guy, giddy as a child, running around, you know, risking everything on these roller coasters and having such a blast, and I think that's part of what I think we get to discover with Kat and in your workshop is it's a bit of a roller coaster ride. You get to discover that part of you that laughs at being afraid. It just has that moment of terrified giddiness but excitement at the same time, and then telling yourself it's going to be fine, you're not going to die, nothing's going to happen, and then you're going to find out something about yourself and about the world that you may or may not have known before. Amazing. I don't want to end this conversation because I still want to keep talking to you, but I have to sort of wrap things up.
Michael Devous:So a couple of things I want to ask. First, like one, like any major milestones or things, challenges coming up for you in the rest of 2023. This is August 2023. So, like anything we should know about that's coming up for you, that you're facing, that you need to address, or whatever that we're yeah, 2023.
Cat LaCohie:I launched my first year long program in February 2023. And I then did a three day in person event in February, and then I had a soft launch. And then I did a three day online event in June as like my sort of next soft launch. And then December 2023, I'm going to do my three day. That's like, okay, I did it in June, I've tweaked it a bit, I've massaged it a bit.
Cat LaCohie:So this will be like the full on launch of Vixen Development Balesk Academy and it's doing the year long embracing for the last, getting people to commit to working with me for a year. And so it really is me stepping up my business and my entrepreneurship to have invested in building the course and promoting people. I've got three to five people signed up with it already. I've got like three pointers. Two of them are signed up for half of the year. So it's like that kind of oh, I've got my people. But to go into 2024, I really want, like I don't want it to have been a fluke in June. I want now December to be like no, this works, this is something people want and appreciate and will sign up for, and everything else. So it's the sort of that watershed that December is going to be the like. Am I really growing up on? No, I'm excited. I think it's like 2014.
Michael Devous:I think the answer is going to be a resounding yes from our listeners and our audiences. Everybody get out there, get online, go to Kat Lelacoy's website and sign up for this. Like, break some records for 2024 for her and really help her launch this forward. So if we want to find out more about you, we want to sign up to spend more time with you. How would we go about that now?
Cat LaCohie:So fixanddevillecom is my generic website. Fixanddevillecom slash breakthrough is where you would sign up for the three day event in December. It called your burlesque breakthrough and you're breaking through your confidence, your performance skills. If you're already a burlesque former, you're taking it a step further. You've never done burlesque before. You're finding how burlesque can help you have those breakthroughs, giving yourself some fun and playfulness in your life. So yeah, your burlesque breakthrough is December 15th, 16th and 17th.
Michael Devous:December 15th, 16th and 17th 2023.
Cat LaCohie:233.
Michael Devous:Can we do an episode just prior to the breakthrough to either? Announce the programming and talk about what you're bringing to the class, or would you like to do one that's a followup to it as we go into the new year, talking about what was discovered and what was done?
Cat LaCohie:I would do both. I think we should do a pre like a before and after.
Michael Devous:Ooh a preview and then we can show how terrified yeah, I can do how terrified I am.
Cat LaCohie:That's a great idea. I'm so terrified. Yeah, let's do a before and after.
Michael Devous:Okay, done, we're gonna do. Ladies and gentlemen, just announced it here we're gonna do a before and after of the December workshop series with Kat Likoi and the Vivi D'Vixen I mean the Vixen de Vil. And her workshop to help you embody your greatness and find and achieve even greater versions of yourself in 2024. So be sure to check her out, be sure to follow her because, by the way, this is incredible. These are gonna have such a good time getting to know this lady and everything that she has to offer.
Michael Devous:I'm so excited to have had you on the Fearless Road sharing your journey with any. My fellow performer, my fellow friend, and I'm glad to be able to call you that A Kat Likoi Vixen de Vil breakthrough. Ladies and gentlemen, check it out. Thank you for being here, thanks for sharing your time with us today and your years on the Fearless Road journey.
Michael Devous:And if you ever wanna know more, you can check us out at thefearlessroadcom or on YouTube at the Fearless Road, and we have all the stuff there, all the magic. We're just bringing more of it, and here it is. So thanks everybody, have an amazing afternoon, day, year, and we'll see you soon. Stay Fearless Music.